If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, or know someone who is, you may contact Befrienders’ 24-hour hotline at 03-7956 8145
Hello there! I do not want to talk about this as it is very sensitive to some but I can’t help myself from getting things out of my mind. After all, that is why I created this blog though, to get my thoughts out.
#ThivyaNayagi, the name that hit everyone lately in Malaysia on her suicidal over called cyberbullying for a simple content video she posted with her Bangladeshi friend on her #TikToK. The video made viral by a Facebook user with 70K followers (#JokerOruvan) condemning her publicly for having a Bangladeshi lover. Soon, the harsh comments started to flow criticizing her at all corners.
The girl bites the criticisms, feeling poor for herself and for her family ended up taking her own life last Tuesday 19 May 2020 by hanging herself in her room around 9.30 PM. In her written letter before the suicidal, she apologised for bringing shame to her family and friends and thank whoever stood by herself on this battle. He holds Joker Oruvan responsible for her action. Of course, she did multiple attempts to bring peace to this including message communications with Joker Oruvan to bring down the video which is likely ignored.
“WHO also stated that suicide was among the 10 top causes of death globally”Tweet
Now, the whole of Malaysia coming after to seek justice for her asking harsh punishment for Joker Oruvan whose identity is unknown to anyone. Now, if you look at the video there is nothing to be condemned. I couldn’t link the video here as it had been removed by local authorities. You may google her name to get some photos including her suicidal letter. They seem to be close friends as you can see her Bangladeshi friend pulling her by the shoulder and squeezing her lips and cheeks trying to mimic the video of a Hindi song. They seem to be close enough to be comfortable with the actions of each other. That’s what makes Joker Oruvan assumed them as lovers. The criticism comes because an Indian girl happened to be in love with a Bangladeshi guy. Even if that so, they are lovers and not married yet. There was so much hatred displayed until the name-calling which is couldn’t stand by the light-hearted girl Thivya Nayagi.
Let’s do a little bit analysis of this unfortunate incident.
1| IT IS NOT CYBER BULLYING THAT KILLED HER BUT THE SOCIETY
We called it cyber bullying only because it happened over the net. In reality, this exists in our daily life surrounds us. Joker Oruvan is only a representative of society. Those 300 commenters who condemned her is a society. Each one of them has to be held responsible for their actions. Will you be ok if your sister gets married to a Bangladeshi? Unless you say “YES” with your full conciseness don’t even bother to raise your concern about this incident. Well, if it is rich guy status Bangladeshi you may say Yes, but how about a Bangladeshi who does a low-class job? Will you dare to acknowledge and accept him?
The shortage of mental health care professionals has a profound effect on the state of youth mental health. Schools are reporting higher incidences of depression, anxiety, and stress amongst youths in Malaysia. Pressure to perform well in school, as well as more modern sources of stress such as cyberbullying has led to increased suicidal tendencies and behaviors in Malaysian youth – https://www.statista.com/Tweet
Our society especially the Indian community has been conditioned for caste for centuries. It is in our blood. We are one of the conditioned society who classes people by their occupation. We care too much to raise our concern when it happened to someone. What will you do if your sister is in love with a Bangladeshi? Unless you say “YES” to her you are not genuine in seeking justice for her. So, don’t bother to raise your concern.
World Health Organisation (WHO), suicide is the second (biggest) cause of death amongst those aged between 15 and 29,” he said, adding that the WHO noted that every 40 seconds, someone would die of suicide around the world. Malaysia’s National statistics shows that men outnumber women three to one, while the Chinese had the highest number of suicides at 48%, followed by Indians (21%), Malays (18%) and other races (13%)
2| CONDEMNING JOKER ORUVAN WILL NOT DO ANYTHING
Let me make it clear. I’m not supporting him at any point in time. But condemning Joker Oruvan or the commenters will not stop such incidents. But you and I can. If each one of us gets rid of this sickening thought of caste from our blood, then there is hope. If each one of us teaches the generation we are raising that caste doesn’t exist, then there is hope. A better world is possible. Anyone can get married to anyone without colour, caste differences becoming unanimous.
I know it is hard even to dream of such a world. Because we have been well conditioned to react to such things subconsciously. Caste is our pride. We wore it like a crown. But “Are you willing to make the effort to change?” If you are not, please don’t bother to raise your concern about this incident.
3| YOU AND I TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR THINKING
Yes. You and I have also to be held responsible for our poor thinking. We think a guy and girl can’t be a real close friend. If they do, we draw a limit that they can’t behave like a girl-to-girl or boy-to-boy friends. If we saw them in intimate close, we make a quick assumption. We called them lovers. You know why, because a girl and a boy can’t be real close unless there are lovers. If it is happened to be a foreigner Bangladeshi, there is no room for them even to be a friend. It has to be lovers. So, why wait, let’s just mock them.
4| A FOREIGNER IS A FOREIGNER
What is so big deal if he is a Bangladeshi? As far as I know, an American is a foreigner so do a Bangladeshi. It is not stated otherwise on the passport because they came from a third world country. If it does, it should be condemned. For now, anyone that not Malaysian is a foreigner. So, what is the big deal if she loves or even to get married to a Bangladeshi? End of the day, you are not the one who taking care of her rice bowl. So, why bother as you care? Let me tell you, you only care because you feared the same will happened to your family. It a selfish act. The poor girl failed to understand that this is about you and not about her. She ended up taking her own life to put an end to your fear.
5| SUFFERING WILL END ON THE DAY WE STOPPED OUR OPINION ON OTHERS
We have a long way to go to learn how to keep our opinion to ourselves. Pain and suffering will end on the day we have stopped forcing our opinion on others regardless of our relationships. Everyone equally deserves to make their life choices and decisions. We just need to learn to manage our own. We owe to no one as we come and go all alone into this world.
No one has a soft sword to kill another living creature other than the human itself. The poor girl made it so personal. She is young, too young to realise that this nothing about her but the others, the society.
She might be laughing at us now. May her soul rest in peace.
On the other hand, there is no necessity to take videos and photos of her funeral to post it on social media. Would you like to post your funeral in such a way? If not, please do not do the same for others. Treat others as you like to be treated. Such posts are nothing but utterly attention-seeking nonsense.
If you failed to realise let me tell you, you are freaking sick.
If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, or know someone who is, you may contact Befrienders’ 24-hour hotline at hotline at 05-547 7933 (Ipoh), 04-281 5161 (Penang) or 03-7956 8144 (Klang Valley)
You may like my other posts as well. Take a look at it.