Journal, Personal

Mistakes Are Discoveries. Worship them.

Have you ever made a terrible mistake and regret so much about it?

Have you ever written a long winded post and failed to save it?

Have you ever put so much of efforts into something but the result didn’t turn out as what you have expected?

Have you ever accidentally press something and found a new thing?

Have you ever worked on something and suddenly everything is crashed?

Have you ever lost something and you have cried so hard because you have to do the entire thing from scratch again?

Have you ever made a decision that it flattened your entire life?

Have you ever mistakenly taken a wrong route and regret about it?

I bet. All of us do. Who we are without regrettable mistakes? We crushed, we cried, we rolled, we throw, we screamed, we shouted, we regret, we cursed and all other things out of frustration.

BUT

Have you ever found that we did it better when we redo it?

Have you ever found that you found a new way?

Have you ever found that you have explored new tricks?

Have you ever found that things happened for a good reason?

Have you ever found that you have learned a new thing?

Have you ever found it saved you from further damage?

Have you ever found it saved your life?

Have you ever found it bring you to the right destiny?

Have you ever found it corrected your wrong path?

Have you ever found it introduced you to your life partner?

Have you ever found it tells you the many reasons why it didn’t work out?

Have you ever found it has changed your life?

Now, are you glad that it didn’t work the way you want it to be? If you ever questioned the “have you ever” before and after, I guess this is the right time to do so. Small or big, sit and explore the “have you ever” NOW.

You’ll know how better you have become now.

Most of my discoveries are leads by mistakes or usually an accidental found. I realised that every mistake and accident that I made had made me a better me. I loved to embrace my mistakes. I’m no longer cursing it. In fact, I tell myself that there must be something that I didn’t learn. Hence, this happened and it will teach me something. To my surprise, it did.

I’m glad that I’m making mistakes; I have no regrets about it. Mistakes are discoveries.

P.S. I wrote this post a few months back and totally forgot it. Reading back today, it had given me the strength I needed the most now.

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Journal

Everyone Is Responsible of Their Own Action

Source: Google

It’s been while since I last posted. This could be a delayed post but important to say it out loud.

Commenting on the last hype of blaming game over #MacMiller death is sickening.

Everyone is responsible of their own life. The result of life is the consequences of their own thoughts an acts. When something goes wrong; stand up and take the blame. Accusing or holding someone for it so not right.

This is nothing to do with his ex-girlfriend #AriadeGrande. She is working hard to fix her own life and leave her alone. I have wrote about past love here if you want to read. You wouldn’t know how she’ll be feeling right now. Losing someone she loved whole-hearted for past two years and carrying the baseless blame is huge to carry on.

I know it’s hard to keep the emotional stability especially when you are going through the hard time like breakups. The truth is this became even harder with people like you who sits at your comfortable coach and play the blaming game wherein you have no clue about the real shit.

All that aside, 26 is way young age to go too soon. May his soul rest in peace.

RIP #MacMiller

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Journal

Count Your Experience; Embrace the Past

This writing is inspired by a Facebook post by a guy (Mr A) who seeks revenge on a girl (Ms B) for leaving his best friend.

Basically, the Mr A is not happy with Ms B as she had left his best friend for another man because she thinks that she can live better life with this new man.

What Mr A is not so happy is that his best friend had spent seven years of his life supporting Ms B for her success in the entertainment industry. Mr A is so angry that his best friend life is gone wasted by Ms B.

My dear friend, let me tell you something . . .

It is not about the time, money, efforts and life that one spent for someone that matters; if the person doesn’t belong there, he/she simply doesn’t belong there. It’s that SIMPLE.

I have read people get divorced on their 70’s or even 90’s. A common person like us will wonder whether it’s really necessary to get divorce at this age. Does it actually benefit?

Believe me, it does. It does matter. This is necessary to feel the sense of freedom and letting go of that pain that you have hold on for so long, so that you can die peacefully.

The years one had spent are not wasted but I’m assured that you would have found out 101 ways why it isn’t working. At least you know that you have tried your best on those years. You would have explored your personality finding out your weakness and strength. Probably, by now you have known areas that you can and can’t tolerate in the relationship.

So, let’s not count the years but the lessons you have learnt on those years. Take a deep breath and think back. Those years surely would have taught you valuable lessons.

You have given years of opportunities to explore who you are. If someone didn’t click well together, they are simply didn’t belong there. You may do not know why but eventually you’ll find out one day.

I’m not saying this because I wanted to say something. I have had an exact experience of the same.

I have read real cruel stories where a father house arrested, tortured and raped his biological daughter for 19 years and together they have two babies whom have been raised hidden underground. Imagine the pain Inflicted here. When the daughter is finally managed to escaped from this cruelty, she embraced the Childs with full of love and started a new life at the age of 30+. You can read the self written biography “A stolen life” by the daughter here.

Always. . . always learn to look forward instead of looking backwards. What makes you who you are now is what you were back then. Learn to embrace your pasts.

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Journal

#HappyFathersDay to a Man

Happy Fathers Day

“Father” is a man.

A man who works hard to give the best to a family.

A man who do not know how to show tears.

A man who hide everything inside his heart.

A Man who seeks money only for his family.

A man who make distance as a close friend.

A man who hold a cigarette to release the untold pain and boredom.

A man that hold a family together.

A man who is everything for a family.

A family without a responsible man is a mess.

Ask me why?

Because, I know better than you.

Once I have told my friend that her father is a great man even though he had three wives because he holds full responsibility to all his wives and children.

A man who has no responsibility doesn’t deserve to be call as a “Man”.

To all the responsible man out there, #HappyFathersDay

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Journal, Personal

A #Mother is not a Mother

 

I think there is no specific day to celebrate mother’s day. It should be every day and every second. But of course, we need to fix a day in a year as a reminder. Therefore, mother’s day is a “reminder day”. If you have ever neglected your mother, this is the day to repay your sin. I have my own perspective on my mother. You can read that here

But, today I’m not gonna brag about how good is a mother and why everyone should appreciate her. Well, so many had been said before. I think every matter should be seen in every possible angle to reflect the different perspectives to embrace the both side of the coins.

All this while, we worship mother as mighty GOD and appreciate the role and sacrifices she had made. Well, that’s majority. Even I thought the same way. So, let’s look at the other side of the coin.

Not all mothers are loved by their kids. I witnessed daughters who hate their mother yet still taking care of them merely to fulfil their responsibility. I wonder why it’s so. Doesn’t a daughter usually will worship a mother because we are woman who carries stronger emotional gen? Yet, I have seen:

  1. A daughter who loves her father compared to her mother.
  2. A daughter who rose by her grandmother compared to her mother.
  3. A daughter who being care less by her own mother.
  4. A daughter whom has an adopted mother as her mother.
  5. A daughter who loves her stepmother compared to her own mother.

When I did a little analysis, I found out that sense of appreciation isn’t created by the biological cord but the sacrifices one does to raise a child. The struggles the one had to through to care for the child in their hand.

So, if you’re being mocked for not showing love to your own mother or fear of public perception for choosing and loving the one that not your biological mother; I want you to know that I can understand you.

You will not be perceived as pessimistic for complaining about your biological mother.

To all the mothers whom have scarified a lot for a child Happy Belated Mothers day.

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Inspiration, Journal, Personal

AMMA / MOTHER : Happy #MothersDAY

Mother! What does this word mean to you? Have you ever asked this question to yourself?

If yes, ask again, If not, well ask now.

If you ask me the same, I would say it has no description. You simply can’t put into words.

My mom is 70 years old this year. The only thing I’m scared of in this world is my mother due out of utmost respect.

  • Respect to the struggle she had to go through to carry me.
  • Respect to the hurdles she had to face to keep me alive. (She said I nearly died of sickness and she has no money to bring me to hospital)
  • Respect for living the painful life to raise me and my six siblings without the support of my father.
  • Respect for the challenges she had to go through alone as a woman to feed her children.
  • Respect for working hard as a rubber tapper all day long so that she can give better future for her kids.
  • Respect for letting me to continue my study despite negative influences spread by my relatives.
  • Respect for trusting and leaving me to work far from the home.
  • Respect for giving me the freedom to do my own choices.
  • Respect for the utmost sacrifices you have did for me and my siblings.
  • Respect for all the things you have done to me and my siblings which can’t be described using 24 letters.

Of course, she has her flaws but that’s nothing big compared to what she has done to us.

She had literally lived for us “her children”. I have heard her outcry for her two kids who had been adopted due to her financial in-capabilities to raise them when they were born. The unintentional act which she regrets till today.

I have seen her struggles, pains and tears by standing right beside her. I wish no mom should go through such pains in their life which she is still struggles to get rid of her memory. The pains are too deep as it had been nailed into her heart. The traumatic life one should never go through.

She lived an extraordinary life for a woman. I wish I can write her biography one day.

Happy Mother’s Day Amma (Mother)

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Journal, Personal, Travel

The Lonely Road (The Mom & Her Daughter)

(As it is) First time in #chitrapournami
Because I have promised to myself that I wanna bring my mom this time. So, I drove all the way to Batu Gajah and then drove again to #TelukIntan at evening. The only nearest way to get to Teluk Intan from my hometown is by going through the village “kampung” area. So, I have decided to find an alternative road on my way back. I moved around 2100 and somehow ended up at lonely isolated road leading to a dark jungle with total blackout vision with no lights. I looked at my waze, it shows another 21KM to reach my well known town Tanjung Tualang. But, the curves! That’s ok, I can managed this, said my mind. I looked at my watch, it’s 2230. I’m tired, I wants to go home. Shortcut its better. I said to myself. Suddenly, there is sound from my backseat…

Guess what, it’s my mom. Obviously, only two of us are in the car. She is so scared, shivering and almost screaming loud. She said ” P (my nick name) don’t take this road. This is not the right road. This is too dark. Probably, there’ll be many ghost here”. I hit the break & was like “WHAT”??

So, this is all about ghost and nothing else? Mom, you should be kidding me. Then, she goes like “P, please, please dont take this road”.

Ok, fine. I quickly make the U turn. Otherwise, my mom probably would have ended up with panic attack. I drove back. After a while, she said “P, please play some devotional song”. This time I scolded her. “Mom, can you stop your nonsense? Why I should be playing devotional song when I’m not scared. Btw, I don’t scared of ghost but humans. Humans can do worst things then ghost. I made that U turn because properly there would be some drug addicts or snatch thief or rapists waiting for victims. Not ghost. So, stop it”.

The next few minutes, we were in silent.

Then, I heard her deep breath, feeling relieved after seeing cars and lights hitting main road.

I smiled, my mom she is a legend.

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

Journal, Personal

Believe in Karma; it’s real and it’s fast.

It’s eleven passed half. My boss is buzzing me for lunch being restless to get out from the office. Ok fine. I quickly wrapped whatever I was doing and grabbed the wallet and walked away with her.

We were having mix rice at nearby Chinese mix rice shop. Generally, I’ll do the listening and she’ll do the talking as she loves to talk. Usually, we will talk about office chaos, her travelling experience or personal opinions on certain matters. This time, she was telling some stories and it makes me happy.

Yeah, it’s Karma. Yes. I’m a strong believer in karma. It could be because I have this Buddhism believe in me.

Ok, the story starts like this…

Two weeks ago, I was devastated with an attitude of my working colleagues. I wonder how much of ill intention a person can carry with them by hiding behind the bright smile on their face. I have heard of this hell working world. Facing it for the real time is really challenging me.

This world is completely new to me. It left me speechless when I saw how badly a person can behave to another. I bet I have yet to see the real hell world. Guess what, this tip of the ice berg is enough to bring me pain. As much as I wanted to believe in humanity, it also left me with many questions.

With all those pain, I kept quite seeking justice deep inside my heart. Least I know that the justice will serve in weeks, two weeks to be exact.

I got to know the two people who had made the pain to me are going through personal challenges in their life. When I heard it, I smiled deep inside my heart, not because I’m happy with what they are going through but because justice is served in timely manner.

I’m truly feeling empathy for what they are going through but I’m glad that karma is exits.

Believe in Karma; it’s real and it’s fast.

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Inspiration, Money, Personal

Another Milestone 14/04/2018

It’s Tamil New Year today. Another goal achieved. I want this to be a yearly tradition. So, let me record this down.

I have executed a long time plan today and it’s another milestone in my life. I have purposely chosen this date so that I can track and measure my achievement every year.

I’m so glad I’m doing all this by my own. It could mean nothing for someone; but it’s means a lot for me. I know, I’m slightly delayed in achieving my life goals but I’m glad that I finally make it.

I took full pride of it because every single achievement is the sole effort of me and no one else.

I know I have way more to go and I’m heading towards.

Signing off with pride.

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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Personal

Can a Café Change Your Mood?

Finding a Cafe is so hard for me. I would like to go out and find a nice Cafe so that I can do my work and accomplish more. I am a person that always in a need of motivation to get things done. Especially, the environment is the major contributor.

I love watching people and they make my environment lively. Moving gets me going. People’s doings makes me question my daily life and get me growing day-by-day.

I get dormant with the same look. I need a change. I love get going. I love get moving.

Now, the problem is that I tend to waste so much of time in choosing the place and Cafe I wanted to go. At times, I’ll be sitting hours in the car deciding where I wanted to go. I know, it’s such a waste of time. But, I’m not sure why am I doing this. So, I did little bit of analysis on this.

Gotcha !!! I found out. I’m calculating the potential expenses for selecting the area and the Cafe. I gave a little bit of thought on parking as well. As much as I love enjoying the Cafes and the people, I equally love saving money. So, I want to feel the environment but I do not want to invest so much of money into it. All of us know how expensive a good coffee can be.

I get so jealous looking at the people who make such decision wasting no time. They don’t require “mind calculator” like most of us, the middle class. Therefore, the motivation kicks in…

I want abundance of money so that I can live the life the way I wanted to live. Get ridding the mind calculator is the ultimate goal.

How do I do it ? Good question tho.

Hmm, I need an input now. I better get going and looking for Café. Let me give a stare at people.

tatta, (bubbye)

#tamaka

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