Journal, Personal

Mistakes Are Discoveries. Worship them.

Have you ever made a terrible mistake and regret so much about it?

Have you ever written a long winded post and failed to save it?

Have you ever put so much of efforts into something but the result didn’t turn out as what you have expected?

Have you ever accidentally press something and found a new thing?

Have you ever worked on something and suddenly everything is crashed?

Have you ever lost something and you have cried so hard because you have to do the entire thing from scratch again?

Have you ever made a decision that it flattened your entire life?

Have you ever mistakenly taken a wrong route and regret about it?

I bet. All of us do. Who we are without regrettable mistakes? We crushed, we cried, we rolled, we throw, we screamed, we shouted, we regret, we cursed and all other things out of frustration.


Have you ever found that we did it better when we redo it?

Have you ever found that you found a new way?

Have you ever found that you have explored new tricks?

Have you ever found that things happened for a good reason?

Have you ever found that you have learned a new thing?

Have you ever found it saved you from further damage?

Have you ever found it saved your life?

Have you ever found it bring you to the right destiny?

Have you ever found it corrected your wrong path?

Have you ever found it introduced you to your life partner?

Have you ever found it tells you the many reasons why it didn’t work out?

Have you ever found it has changed your life?

Now, are you glad that it didn’t work the way you want it to be? If you ever questioned the “have you ever” before and after, I guess this is the right time to do so. Small or big, sit and explore the “have you ever” NOW.

You’ll know how better you have become now.

Most of my discoveries are leads by mistakes or usually an accidental found. I realised that every mistake and accident that I made had made me a better me. I loved to embrace my mistakes. I’m no longer cursing it. In fact, I tell myself that there must be something that I didn’t learn. Hence, this happened and it will teach me something. To my surprise, it did.

I’m glad that I’m making mistakes; I have no regrets about it. Mistakes are discoveries.

P.S. I wrote this post a few months back and totally forgot it. Reading back today, it had given me the strength I needed the most now.

tatta, (bubbye)


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Everyone Is Responsible of Their Own Action

Source: Google

It’s been while since I last posted. This could be a delayed post but important to say it out loud.

Commenting on the last hype of blaming game over #MacMiller death is sickening.

Everyone is responsible of their own life. The result of life is the consequences of their own thoughts an acts. When something goes wrong; stand up and take the blame. Accusing or holding someone for it so not right.

This is nothing to do with his ex-girlfriend #AriadeGrande. She is working hard to fix her own life and leave her alone. I have wrote about past love here if you want to read. You wouldn’t know how she’ll be feeling right now. Losing someone she loved whole-hearted for past two years and carrying the baseless blame is huge to carry on.

I know it’s hard to keep the emotional stability especially when you are going through the hard time like breakups. The truth is this became even harder with people like you who sits at your comfortable coach and play the blaming game wherein you have no clue about the real shit.

All that aside, 26 is way young age to go too soon. May his soul rest in peace.

RIP #MacMiller

tatta, (bubbye)


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Count Your Experience; Embrace the Past

This writing is inspired by a Facebook post by a guy (Mr A) who seeks revenge on a girl (Ms B) for leaving his best friend.

Basically, the Mr A is not happy with Ms B as she had left his best friend for another man because she thinks that she can live better life with this new man.

What Mr A is not so happy is that his best friend had spent seven years of his life supporting Ms B for her success in the entertainment industry. Mr A is so angry that his best friend life is gone wasted by Ms B.

My dear friend, let me tell you something . . .

It is not about the time, money, efforts and life that one spent for someone that matters; if the person doesn’t belong there, he/she simply doesn’t belong there. It’s that SIMPLE.

I have read people get divorced on their 70’s or even 90’s. A common person like us will wonder whether it’s really necessary to get divorce at this age. Does it actually benefit?

Believe me, it does. It does matter. This is necessary to feel the sense of freedom and letting go of that pain that you have hold on for so long, so that you can die peacefully.

The years one had spent are not wasted but I’m assured that you would have found out 101 ways why it isn’t working. At least you know that you have tried your best on those years. You would have explored your personality finding out your weakness and strength. Probably, by now you have known areas that you can and can’t tolerate in the relationship.

So, let’s not count the years but the lessons you have learnt on those years. Take a deep breath and think back. Those years surely would have taught you valuable lessons.

You have given years of opportunities to explore who you are. If someone didn’t click well together, they are simply didn’t belong there. You may do not know why but eventually you’ll find out one day.

I’m not saying this because I wanted to say something. I have had an exact experience of the same.

I have read real cruel stories where a father house arrested, tortured and raped his biological daughter for 19 years and together they have two babies whom have been raised hidden underground. Imagine the pain Inflicted here. When the daughter is finally managed to escaped from this cruelty, she embraced the Childs with full of love and started a new life at the age of 30+. You can read the self written biography “A stolen life” by the daughter here.

Always. . . always learn to look forward instead of looking backwards. What makes you who you are now is what you were back then. Learn to embrace your pasts.

tatta, (bubbye)


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Journal, Personal

A #Mother is not a Mother


I think there is no specific day to celebrate mother’s day. It should be every day and every second. But of course, we need to fix a day in a year as a reminder. Therefore, mother’s day is a “reminder day”. If you have ever neglected your mother, this is the day to repay your sin. I have my own perspective on my mother. You can read that here

But, today I’m not gonna brag about how good is a mother and why everyone should appreciate her. Well, so many had been said before. I think every matter should be seen in every possible angle to reflect the different perspectives to embrace the both side of the coins.

All this while, we worship mother as mighty GOD and appreciate the role and sacrifices she had made. Well, that’s majority. Even I thought the same way. So, let’s look at the other side of the coin.

Not all mothers are loved by their kids. I witnessed daughters who hate their mother yet still taking care of them merely to fulfil their responsibility. I wonder why it’s so. Doesn’t a daughter usually will worship a mother because we are woman who carries stronger emotional gen? Yet, I have seen:

  1. A daughter who loves her father compared to her mother.
  2. A daughter who rose by her grandmother compared to her mother.
  3. A daughter who being care less by her own mother.
  4. A daughter whom has an adopted mother as her mother.
  5. A daughter who loves her stepmother compared to her own mother.

When I did a little analysis, I found out that sense of appreciation isn’t created by the biological cord but the sacrifices one does to raise a child. The struggles the one had to through to care for the child in their hand.

So, if you’re being mocked for not showing love to your own mother or fear of public perception for choosing and loving the one that not your biological mother; I want you to know that I can understand you.

You will not be perceived as pessimistic for complaining about your biological mother.

To all the mothers whom have scarified a lot for a child Happy Belated Mothers day.

tatta, (bubbye)


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Journal, Personal

Believe in Karma; it’s real and it’s fast.

It’s eleven passed half. My boss is buzzing me for lunch being restless to get out from the office. Ok fine. I quickly wrapped whatever I was doing and grabbed the wallet and walked away with her.

We were having mix rice at nearby Chinese mix rice shop. Generally, I’ll do the listening and she’ll do the talking as she loves to talk. Usually, we will talk about office chaos, her travelling experience or personal opinions on certain matters. This time, she was telling some stories and it makes me happy.

Yeah, it’s Karma. Yes. I’m a strong believer in karma. It could be because I have this Buddhism believe in me.

Ok, the story starts like this…

Two weeks ago, I was devastated with an attitude of my working colleagues. I wonder how much of ill intention a person can carry with them by hiding behind the bright smile on their face. I have heard of this hell working world. Facing it for the real time is really challenging me.

This world is completely new to me. It left me speechless when I saw how badly a person can behave to another. I bet I have yet to see the real hell world. Guess what, this tip of the ice berg is enough to bring me pain. As much as I wanted to believe in humanity, it also left me with many questions.

With all those pain, I kept quite seeking justice deep inside my heart. Least I know that the justice will serve in weeks, two weeks to be exact.

I got to know the two people who had made the pain to me are going through personal challenges in their life. When I heard it, I smiled deep inside my heart, not because I’m happy with what they are going through but because justice is served in timely manner.

I’m truly feeling empathy for what they are going through but I’m glad that karma is exits.

Believe in Karma; it’s real and it’s fast.

tatta, (bubbye)


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Inspiration, Journal

#SriDevi : Respect and Remember for her Hard work

We love to talk. In fact, we love to talk a lot. That’s exactly what we had done for #SriDevi the Indian actress who had passed away recently.

We want to believe anything and everything people say when it attracted us the most.

First day reports said she died due to cardiac arrest. We get shocked and believed it.

Then, a doctor out of nowhere claimed the cardiac arrest was as a result of side effect since she was consuming bills to stay slim. We blamed the husband for not stopping her. We blamed the fashion designers who have business interest through her beauty and figure. This time we cared. We cared about our fellow colleagues’ health. So, we forwarded the message in all social media platforms we have registered without even to validate the source of the info. Because, we care. We care too much.

Then, police said according to her post mortem reports, she died out of accidental drowning after losing consciousness for consuming alcohol. This time we laughed at her dead body concluding this as her stupidity. We laughed because it’s shameful and funny for a woman to get drunk and drown. This time, we get excited. We get excited to quickly share the news at the same social media platforms all over the net to share the laugh with same minded people.

We want to tell the whole world that she didn’t die out of cardiac arrest or the side effect of slimming pills but got drunk and drowned. (ha..ha..ha..)

We care less on her family’s feelings. We bother nothing of her years of hard work which she has built since she was 4 years old. We care, this time we care only about us. We get excited. We get excited to talk and gossip about her.

Frankly, aren’t you shame of yourselves?

Aren’t you got drunk before? Or lost stability out of alcohol before?

So, stop it. Seriously, stop it.

Even, if she would have died due to accidental drowning, who are you to laugh about it? If your own mother died the same way, you wouldn’t want the whole world to talk and laugh about it. So, leave her alone.

Respect and remember her for her work. Remember her for who she was. You and I can’t beat her dedication at any point of time. If you are not happy with it, leave her alone.

Now, new conspiracy has occurred. What was concluded as closed become a mystery? This is to be continued. The truth is, probably #Sridevi itself wouldn’t know how she had died.

By the way, life is all about living every second. The next second is not yours and it’s not guaranteed for sure.

Her Last Retweet
Her Last Tweet

It #Jhanvi’s birthday on 6th March 2017. She and her father #BoneyKapoor have released official tributes to #Sridevi on tweeter accounts.

Her ashes is reportedly to be immersed in #Rameshwaram . May her soul rest in peace.

A respect for all the hard work, dedication and talent she has shown us. Glad, #Oscar2018 had honoured her.

tatta, (bubbye)


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#Beware Of Your #SocialMedia Postings

I knew it’s your account, it’s your wall and who am I to say that?

But …

Remember!!! Your posts are public. You can be selective in your audience. The readers could be your own friend and relative but they always have an option to share it to public.

So, nothing “NOTHING” is your own when comes to social media.

So, stop posting 1001 pictures of your one day event, each and every inch of your uninteresting daily activities, nauseating throw of your son, disgusting close up of used diaper, uncomfortable perspective of your nose, horrible view of your pimples, blurred and not planned snaps and the list goes on.

tatta, (bubbye)


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Journal, Personal

The Strange Act – The Girl – The Reality Behind The Scene

[This is a delayed post that worth telling]

It’s was a great Saturday morning. It was my first weekend for 2018.

I have decided to go to the nursery located at the end of the housing area at PJ #Oldtown. Then, I saw this new restaurant called “Nasi Kandar Kari Kepala Ikan” right opposite the nursery. Since, I’m feeling so thirsty, I have decided to have “tea o ice” before heading to my office to do some printing works.

So, here I am having my drink and getting entertained by Insta stories. Then, I saw this malay girls; one without scarf (Girl A) and the other one is with scarf (Girl B) sitting at the right-hand side of my table having their nasi kandar.

Somehow, I felt strange about this Girl A. While she is enjoying her meal; the strain of the curry powder was all over her mouth and she doesn’t seem to be bothered. It’s kind of weird behaviour for a cute pretty bubbly girl like her. Then, my curiosity kicks in and I have started to observe her.

She is wearing a simple but not so clean t-shirt with deep ocean blue straight cut jeans. Her bun looks little messy and not tied properly. She carries that “just woke up” look. And of course, she doesn’t seem to be bothered.

While observing her, an Indian man whom sits beside her table was offering a drink to her and she refused to it with no eye contact. Then, she stand up and did little talking to a Malay guy whom shared the same table with the Indian man.

I thought the men were strangers to the girls. There were no communications or body language between them. Again, strange.

Back to the story, there were not much conversation is happening between the girls and the men.

My instinct kicks in. I couldn’t clearly tell what it was. But, I knew something strange is happening.

They were walking to their car. Now, I can guess it clearly. The girls are properly come from Malay village and they could be between 15-16 years old. These are young teenage girls.

While walking, the girls are whispering to each other. The Girl A showed her fear and helpless face to the other. Her wrinkles said that she is fear of something (the unknown).

On the other hand, the men are seen happy. They had their hand on each others’ shoulder.

Here I am still observing …..

It’s a taxi. They are getting into a taxi. While the Malay man and Girl B taking the back seat, the Indian man and Girl A taking the front seat. *Strange

Before I can digest the happening, they have fled the scene. One thing is sure; my instinct is telling there is something not right here. The innocent Girl A could be a victim; being traded for a service.

But, it’s too late to react. I could have done something, at least should have jotted the plate number. I’m feeling guilty for the whole day.

Life is so unfair to some. I hope, I was wrong about the whole scene.

Dear GOD, please give back her teenage life.

tatta, (bubbye)


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Journal, Personal, Weekend

Memories; Bye-Bye 2017

As much as you want to carry forward your memories so that you have plenty of it to hold your breath at the end of your life, you still want to get rid some of them. Mainly because of the emotions you have attached to it.

Good or bad it’s still a memory, a past that gives you a pleasure and/or the pain.

One wouldn’t have a clue of their turning point. But, I have few in my life. 2006, 2013 is the strongest one that holds a lot of past that I do not want to cling to it. When I look back, I only wanted to know how I have survived, moved on and reached here.

I have no regrets in my life. Every decision I have made, every mistakes I have done is purely mine. I made that decision, I made that mistake. I have no one to blame to. It reflects me. It leads me here.

2017 is the sub turning point that thought me a lot of learning. Challenges, bullies, emotions, pains, fears and tears which had thought me; how hard it is to survive in this world as who you are.

When you are pushed hard to go against who you are, forced to change yourself, advised to adapt to existing world so that you can survive; it really hard.

It’s really hard to stay who you are. When the reality hits, you are advised to put a face mask and go against your willingness.

I got so confused and lost by this process. I wish I will not get influenced by this world.

I am happy for who I am. I am delighted to be like this. I wish I can stay like this forever. I am praying hard not to get influenced by the common thinking of the world.

My only wish to the GOD; let me be and stay as who I am.

Thank you 2017 for teaching me what you have taught me.

tatta, (bubbye)


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Journal, Personal

Mental Illness Is the Worst

Kim jong

By now, the world knows the suicidal of #SouthKorean #KPop star #KimJongHyun at the peak of his career. Remember, he did it when he has everything he wished for. I couldn’t blame him for his action.

As I used to tell my friends that none of us would know the deep of the pain regardless how big or small it is unless we experience it. So stop talking about someone as you are know them.

We can sit and blabbering thousand and one perspective about someone’s life; only because we are not on their shoes.

Depression and loneliness is the silent killer which don’t cost you a single organ but your entire life. It is worst than physical illness. Sadness, graveness, frustration, rage, anxious or even irritation is sickening. Trust me, they take full control of your soul and gives you a blunt boldness to act out of your mind.

It defeats everyone in despite of age, gender, education, financial status, public status or anything you could possibly classify.

I can surely say that all of us have experienced it at some point of time in our life.

Everyone have to pay the price for who we have become. Today, we (the common people) have the luxury of freedom to give up and the comfort of time to cry for hours. No one is cares to bother about us.

But this man (#KimJongHyun) is not given an option to give up, enough time to cry. The public and haters who are care way too much about his private and personal life.

He had his hard time and none of us could understand it.

So let’s stop playing this blaming game and offer a helping hand.

As you grow older, experience the bad side of the life, getting to the lowest point of your life and question your existence, it gets intense to carry the burden way too much and way too long. The freedom demands your life and you are forced to take that bold act to pay the price.

Bravo Brother! May your soul rest in peace.

We see you when we see you.

tatta, (bubbye)


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